Heres my letter: Please understand I do love you, as i write this i feel relief and sadness. Communication is very important in growing a healthy and stress-free relationship. No one would choose to feel this way, I promise you. The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. I feel like the only one who has really changed has been you. I love you so much, but sometimes it feels like we are living separate lives. Did I do something to you that caused things to be this way? Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Because what good is a house if we arent happy? There are many ways by which a husband can deal with his wife without having to leave the marriage. Theres so much more ahead of us that we need to face together. I know that marriages sometimes simply cant work, but doesnt ours at least deserve a chance? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This letter is like catharsisfor her. When we first met, my depression was hiding. The moment the love wavers, trust issues crop up. Continue the conversation." "text": "Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. This world has become too painful for me, and all I can think of is ending it all and leaving behind the pain and suffering so that our kids can be happy again without having to worry about their crazy-depressed mommy anymore. Related Reading: When I discovered the dark secret my girlfriend shared with her BFF. Reach out for support: Talking to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can help provide a safe space to process and cope with difficult emotions. Related Reading: My Boyfriend Is Jealous And Calls Me 50 Times A Day. This letter from wife to husband was written after years of fighting, yelling, . Build that home with me by rebuilding our bond. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you." ] How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. If we carry on like this, we wont accomplish anything. I dont know what to do. here are many ways by which a husband can deal with his wife without having to leave the marriage. But today is a brighter day. I have been trying my best to make things work and although I feel like giving up, I cannot because I know that it is not just about me anymore. You seem to have drifted away and now I can barely see you somewhere in the distance. But we've been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. I'm stuck in an unhappy marriage | Relate Feeling alone while youre with someone is worse than feeling alone while no ones there. Show empathy and understanding: It is important to validate your wifes feelings and show her that you care. How Do You Tell Your Partner You're Depressed? Thank you for funding my therapy, doctors appointments, and medications. If so, please forgive me and know that I want to make it up to you. All your life you have given the family the best and if by any case now the business is going down but dear it's not your mistake. You know that Ive been depressed for a while now and unable to sleep properly. I firmly believed there was nothing I could do. Not only is Swords & Snoodles a parenting website, it also often features mental health issues and experiences with children who have additional needs. Problem solver and a personal counselor. Thank You much Love , Yeboah Lucy Mawunyo Abla is my name. She shared a copy with Joie Bose, who published it in on Bonobology. Encourage them even as they are putting in their little effort. When we got married, it was the happiest day of my life, to make my vows to you and promise to love you forever. 4. Be there for me like you used to be, or dont be with me at all. I want to be your partner in crime and the best friend you can tell anything to. When I look into the mirror, I see an old woman instead of a young girl like before. "acceptedAnswer": { I am writing this letter to you because I need to tell you how I feel. But you dont seem to get me anymore. I have given you all that I could give, but it just seems like it is never enough for you. To be honest, Id fall apart. Depression is one thing that can cause a couple to become unhappy in marriage. { We have now been together five years and married for nearly two of them. Your voice used to be music to my ears and now I rarely even get to hear it. Theres acertainfreedom when it comes to talkingopenlyabout the monster. I was ready to give in to whatever you wanted, even if those tendencies were reckless or self-destructive. Minimizing each other's feelings, having little sex, feeling abandoned and powerless, and no longer having fun together all indicate an unhappy marriage . "text": "How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. Sometimes I tell you and sometimes I dont. My eye color, my long fingers, my depression. It feels like we had a huge fight that we never finished and its like an obstacle between us, severing our connection. And, while some days are a struggle, I am still trying to learn that when you are unhappy, there may not be a root cause. Is Your Marriage Making You Depressed? Im sorry for hurting you, for the fights we have and for not being the wife you need me to be. I dont want to feel like this anymore. I havent self harmed since February 2010, but the urge often consumes me. I know its important to know when to give up, but this letter is about me begging you to keep fighting. I miss the bond we used to have, and I hope that you miss it enough to try to create it again. Various factors, including a loss of control and abuse in a marriage, can cause depression. Instead, you listened and you encouraged me to do what I thought might help me. The truth is, even if were not seeing other people, we barely see each other anymore, even when were in the same room. Oops! This may however help you both to come to a mutual agreement. There will be lots of times I feel like youd be better off without me, or that my children deserve a better momma. It feels like were just going through the motions of life together without really connecting on any level anymore. And sometimes when we do talk, its only because you want something from me: sex or money or whatever else floats your boat. We even talked about divorce, for Petes sake! September 10, 2022 November 2, 2022. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you. All Rights Reserved. In as much as there should be fun, one should note that marriage goes beyond having fun. You can also request feedback in the conclusion. I'm The Old Mom With A Young Kid & Yes, Sometimes It's Weird. You knew that life with me would have its ups and downs, but you still thought I was worth it. Ive spoken to my girlfriends and they all say the same. But lately it feels like weve drifted apart and we dont even talk anymore. How Do I Write To My Husband About My Feelings? You may lose a job, we will lose loved ones, or we might get sick, but through it all, I will always be by your side. I cannot go on living like this anymore. I try to hide it from you because I dont want to worry you, but its been getting harder and harder to keep up the faade. I dont know what to do. Related Reading: How I turned into a jealous monster. All Im asking for is that you keep it safe there for a little longer before deciding to throw it away. Im so used to the way you make me feellike everything is okay and I can do anything. Instead, we cry without shedding a single tear. How you deserve better. I want you to choose to stay and fight for what we have, but if its too late, go. After such a long time of pure love and honesty, dont start with lies now. Well just keep drifting away from each other. Hoping you will cross the bridge and come over soon. Please, if you notice the cloud before I tell you, just hug me tight and tell me well fight it together. You used to show me so much affection, but now I think my own husband is not attracted to me anymore. Underneath the dark clouds of depression, I promise there is a gleaming smile. Maybe we just werent meant for each other after all. You have physical symptoms. I dont know why you dont trust me. I think its because your job is too stressful and youre taking it out on us by staying away. Rehab is another alternative place to deal with depression. I feel the cloud approaching and it petrifies me. I love you, and I know you love me too. }. As a wife who is going through depression, my advice for you is that you also communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner as that helps you to recover and also sustains your relationship. At that time, Im sad to say, your assurances fell on deaf ears. I know its hard to understand why I crave it, I cant explain it myself. I was right. After all weve been through, I think it does and Ive started feeling like its not an option youd consider anymore. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention - my pain finally put into words. It is your duty as a partner to perform these responsibilities. It appears you entered an invalid email. I felt trapped in a cycle of trying to understand your depression, to getting frustrated when it got too bad, and finally returning to wanting nothing more but to help you feel better. Today, I am a man. You might have understandable reasons to be mentally composing your packing list. "@type": "Question", Expert Verdict, Should You Contact The Person Your Spouse Is Cheating With The Pros And The Cons, 20 Things That Make Wives Unhappy In A Marriage, 13 Tell-Tale Signs A Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage, 25 Ways To Be A Better Wife And Improve Your Marriage, 9 Important Signs Your Husband Wants To Save The Marriage, 15 Signs Of Emotional Neglect In A Marriage, 20 Ways To Make Your Husband Miss You During Separation, 9 Ways To Deal With Your Husband Not Wanting You 5 Things You Can Do About It, 9 Expert Ways To Stop Your Husband From Yelling At You. I wouldnt be writing this letter if youd still show me the affection you used to. | I need your love and for you to show me the affection you used to. My dear husband, I know you will be surprised to read this letter. That is enough for me. As a husband, you may have thoughts of leaving the marriage. I am writing you this letter because I am afraid to tell you in person. Include Your Partner in Your Treatment Strategy. I used to wake up with a smile because your face was the first thing I saw. And you had asked me who it was and I had said her name and you said I had lied. I simply cant handle it because the thought of losing you is killing me. Youre still here, but its like youre not or dont want to be. I dont know what happened, but maybe its time for both of us to start working on the marriage again instead of just living our lives separately and not really talking about anything important anymore. I dont know if youve noticed, but Ive been feeling really down lately. Maybe I should start by saying that Im sorry. You say that you love me but you never show it. Continue the conversation. I guess what Im trying to say here is that something needs to change. I cant save our marriage if youre not going to fight for it too. You never have time for me anymore, and I dont know if that will ever change. Help me make things better again. This is a very poignant letter written by a wife to a husband, who is insecure, suspicious and has serious trust issues. I should acknowledge I don't know the details. Her. Privacy Policy | About us |Contact us 2023 Think Aloud. I know that you are a good person who always tries his best but sometimes life just sucks and theres nothing anyone can do about it. Sometimes it takes every bit of motivation to get up in the morning, but Ineverlet you in on this. There are a lot of expectations from each partner after marriage. I never saw this monotony in you. Just tell me you love me and leave me to calm down. "name": "How Do You Tell Your Partner You're Depressed? When I met you I knew you were different. The distance between us started to widen and our love language changed We barely even talk and I feel neglected and hopeless. I know it must be hard for you to see me like thisits been hard for me too. I have tried to talk about this with you but you are always busy at work or playing golf with your friends. Im not fulfilled. You can find even more stories on our Home page. I dont feel like you want that future anymore. Ive left my virginity for you. Home Depressed Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband. My mind nags me and tells me other mommas do things better and love better than me. Click Here To Listen To Free Audiobook On Overcoming Depression. We dont do the things we used to do. Check out ourSubmit a Storypage for more about our submission guidelines. I had married a lover, not a detective who is out to sniff out mysteries all the time. Not a criminal. } ", I loved you as soon as I saw you and knew we were meant to be. But as long as were both willing to work on our relationship, it can work. I am writing to you in the hope that you will understand the situation and get back to me. My happiness is important too, though, and I feel like my husband is not the affectionate, romantic man I fell in love with. "My husband is 15 years my senior, and I am 23," writes a lonely wife. Even if you dont want me anymore, I want you to want me. I know that you are busy with work and your friends, but I want us to be able to talk about everything. But whatever the reason for my unhappiness, theres no denying that its real and that it mattersto me and to our marriage. You probably dont think its your fault but it is. You dont know what its like to be in your shoes, so I am going to tell you everything. When we first got married, you worked hard so that we could live in a nice house and afford nice things. That name should mean that were a family, but this isnt the family I want my children to grow up in. Related Reading: Confession of an insecure wife Every night after he sleeps, I check his messages. But lately, its like that feeling has been taken from me. I know you prefer the good days when Im happy and not anxious or snappy, and I wish I could have these days every day. Remember the last time when my girlfriend had called? Your email address will not be published. You are no longer the same man who used to love me and care about me like no other man in this world does. Male depression: Understanding the issues - Mayo Clinic Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and obligations. No matter how much confusion and pain we're . Sometimes I believeyou, sometimes I believe depression. And although society says it's what you should do to unwind, I've grown to loathe that can. I love you. Since having our son (18 months) things changed, I knew they would but I never expected the jealousy my husband has now, the constant questioning my love for him, the secret conversations with other women, accusing me of doing the very things he is doing. All these years it was lying dormant, but it was still there. But you still stay and try to be happy for the both of us. Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. 1. It is more than aone year since that day and, after numerous phone calls and quite a few tears, you have been meeting with a psychologist who has helped you (well helped both of us) learn to deal with your depression and anxiety in a healthy, controlled way. I would have never met you or had our child, but I also wouldnt have known what I was missing. An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands . Were meant to be best friends and lovers. Ive never told you how cold it feels when you look at me like youre looking at a ghost. But I need you to understand that I also need your support right now. It likely involves a number of factors, including brain chemistry, hormones and life experiences. You used to be so passionate about our relationship, but now you just seem indifferent towards me. Depression Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband - Marriage Talk If you truly dont want me and dont love me anymore, dont let me stop you. I didnt like the new house, or our neighbors, or being far away from my family and friends. I need to feel safe in your embrace like I used to. You deserve happiness more than anyone else does because you have never let me down ever since we met 10 years ago. But I want you to know that I am here for you, and that when things get tough, I'll be there in spirit. Id lock the memory of you in there for all eternity and let no one come as close to me as you did. You have been very busy with work lately and spending less time at home with me and the kids. Whyd you thought I hide things from you? This is the reason I am penning this letter from wife to husband today.